Cheyanne is 8!

porridge was her breakfast of choice!

It seems like each birthday one of my children has becomes a reminder of how fast time is going. I find I start to panic as each one draws near, my heart starts to beat a little faster when I think of all the opportunities I have missed this past year to impart wisdom, imprint Christ in their hearts and to just enjoy the moment because I've been busy with housework, schoolwork, or just plain busyness! This year with Cheyanne's birthday looming there was no exception. Her birthday comes at the craziest time of year with the farm getting busy, my work having all kinds of conferences, and all the extra curricular activities we do overlapping and running together. I just couldn't figure out how to fit in a part and manage to do life at the same time, so we skipped the big birthday this year and had the family for dinner instead, and when things settled down a bit we took two of her friends to the movies and for ice cream. It was a nice relaxing day and a lot of fun for the girls. They had to sit by themselves so that it felt like a party (they were one row in front of Michael and I and our other kids, lol, but to them they were by themselves, lol). The only disappointing thing was I forgot to get a picture of her and her friends at the movies and opening gifts, ahhh, bad mom moment, lol, but it was fun just the same.

Cheyanne continues to grow up so fast. She is maturing to become such a beautiful girl. She has a big heart and loves to play and include everyone around her. She loves her siblings, and is almost always happy to play with them, however, at other times she finds she just needs to tuck herself away and find some space to herself to read and daydream a little. She wants her own room already but at the same time she does such a good job sharing with Bella and Emmeresen, it's cute to watch her be the big sister. 

She is growing in confidence and I love to see how she is learning to make eye contact and say hello, or thank you to grown ups who talk to her. She is becoming less shy and willing to go and meet new kids or invite people to play in her group. This past year she has sang for the church a few times, as well as performed her violin both at church and her recital. It is so cute to see how she gets nervous to play but at the same time loves to do it. I have really enjoyed watching her grow in this way.

I love having her home everyday. I am so loving schooling her, watching her learn and change. It has been a really neat year in school this year. Last year math was such a struggle and it was difficult to teach some of the advanced concepts her program offered, and all of a sudden this year, it has just clicked, she's taking off and math is becoming easy for her. She's realized that the hard work she put in last year has made this year's math easier, even though the actual questions are getting harder. It is so much fun having all my kids around all the time. There are days where it is crazy and stressful, and I worry we aren't doing enough, but, so far the good days are outweighing the bad ones, and it just makes life so much fun learning together and always being in each others space, however this also contributes to the difficulty of keeping a clean house, but there will be time for that in the future for sure!

Cheyanne brings so much joy to our family. She is a wonderful helper, and is always willing to help out with the younger kids or around the house. She has a big heart and is often coming up with ways that she could help those who are less fortunate or who are hurting. This year has brought many highlights as she has grown and changed, a few things she has done or accomplished over the past year have been: her first night at camp, gymnastics, water skiing, cross country skiing, trail running, softball, memorizing her 2,3,4, and 5 times tables, reading non-stop, improving in violin, singing for church, memorizing scriptures, and I am sure a few things I have missed. It has been a wonderfully busy and fun year, can't wait to see what next year holds for our oldest beauty!

Our birthday interview, thanks to Ladybugs n' Latte's for the idea!

Favourite Colour:?Blue

Favourite Food? pizza

Favourite Show? Strawberry Shortcake

Favourite Book? Thea Sisters

Favourite Toy? barbies

Favourite Song? I knew you were trouble when you walked in (Taylor Swift)

What do you want to be when you grow up? Rock Star

What are you good at? Painting

What are you excited about? playing with my pupppy

What are your favourite memories from being seven? camping, gymnastics, swimming, playdates

What is your favourite memory verse this year? My child, pay attention to what I say, listen carefully to my words, let them penetrate deep into your heart Proberbs 4:20,21

What is one thing you would like to say to the whole world if you had the chance? I have the greatest mom in the world! (hahaha, bonus points for that answer ;) )

Some shots of Cheyanne over the past year:

 

 

His Grace is Sufficient!

It's been a weird few months for me. I have felt this strange lack of interest in pursuing Christ, like I just can't bring myself to seek Him, to search for the peace that He offers, the love that He has to share, the relationship that restores. It's been this strange fog that has come over me, one that has envoloped me, slowly, creeping in subtley, numbing me to the point of compliance. 

I have felt the need to draw near and to pray, to read His life giving word, and yet I have sat, paralyzed by the fear of feeling. This past year and half has brought so much change, and has been so overwhelming in so many ways, and my role has been the one who is coping, the one getting by, the one holding it together when no one else can, and so the numbness, the fog, has been a welcome releif, one that keeps me from sorrow, one that has kept my head above water. I have felt His call, the need to draw near again, the need for His GRACE, but something has just continued to stop me. It's been a long time since I have touched my bible or sat down to seek Him in prayer. I think about it, but I feel like it's going to hurt, it's going to be painful, and I am okay living numb. I feel a bit drained, a little tired, down, hesitantly I wonder, am I depressed? Tears come easily, a sad song, a passing thought, a moment to myself, and so  I live, avoiding, stuffing, choosing not to feel. I know I need him, I know I need to draw near, to read, to pray, but I just don't want to. I pray in passing, prayers for friends, for families, for grace with my kids, but nothing deep. I am keeping distance between us, keeping from having to really address the issues I don't want to face, trust, faith, do i doubt His goodness?

These are the issues between us, the ones that have kept me from coming to him, from kneeling before the Father and allowing His comfort to overwhelm me. And yet, in all of this doubt and frustration, God has been gracious, He's stayed near to me in-spite of my back being turned, I feel him close, as if his warm breath is on the back of my neck, I know all I need to do is turn and I will feel the warmth of his embrace, that he will walk me through the valley, and yet I have stood stubbornly refusing to turn. What a gracious God to deal with my tantrum, he isn't leaving, he is here, waiting for me to turn around, and take that step to follow him and I know this heaviness will be lifted, but I'm here, in this space, content with numb, fumbling  in the dark to find my way. For some reason, fearing the light and what it will expose, fearing the initial pain of the pruning, knowing that in the long run the pruning increases the harvest, but being unwilling to face it........at least for now.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2Corinthians 12:9