An Incredible Tribute!



Today I attended the funeral of Captain Dan Botkin from the Enderby Fire Department. I was touched by the support our little community received from around the province. It was incredible to watch the fire fighters file into the arena in support of their colleagues, some from as far away as Calgary, Salt Spring Island, the US, and many more cities around the province. I don't know how many were there, but from what I could tell it seemed to be more than a thousand, as many had to stand through the service. The brotherhood of the fireman was inspiring. As I stood there watching them file into the arena, I was overwhelmed and impacted by the support that they were showing to a family they didn't know, to a fire department they have never met, to a community they had no ties to. It made me evaluate myself, and my commitment to the people in my life, am I there, supporting them when they need me? These men drove long distances to show support simply because they understand the call of a fireman, they are part of the brotherhood, and it binds them to one another, even though most are strangers. Watching this made me long to be like them. To be the kind of person that will come out in support of those in need, those who are suffering, and those who may not even know they need me, regardless of whether we are connected by blood, or family, or friendship, to be there to answer the call. This was another theme that I pulled out of the service, Dan was the kind of guy who was always there to answer the call, not only as a firefighter, but also as a friend. His friends did an incredible job of the eulogy, they spoke of his heart, of fun memories, and the fact that Dan was always there for his family and friends, expressing what many feel by stating that "Dan didn't die a hero, he was born a hero." When the minister spoke of Dan, he mentioned that he had asked for a favourite passage of scripture, his mom found a verse that Dan had written down when he was a member of a high school youth group. It was Proverbs 17:17 "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in a time of need" NLT. I was struck by the fact that a verse Dan spoke of at the age of maybe, 15 or 16, became the story of his life. From everything his friends and family members said today that verse was who Dan was. I love that! Not many 15 or 16 year olds choose a verse from the bible and decide that it will be the theme of their life. I bet Dan didn't do it either, at that young age, he probably didn't know who he would be when he was 25, but God did, and I believe that God intentionally wrote that verse on the heart of Dan. To hear so many people speak of him this way, and then to find out that on a scrap of paper years ago he had written down his own life verse, to me it speaks to the intentionality of God. God has a plan in all things, even the insignificant moments of our lives mean something to him. He is there writing the script, loving us, and if we let him, leading us. I believe that when we make a commitment to Christ he leads our lives, sometimes we choose to seek him and follow hard after his will, and sometimes we fall away and seem to drift through life, but we aren't drifting aimlessly, God is still the wind that directs our paths. For me, today was very emotional. It was emotional to know our community was loosing a great volunteer, to watch my sister loose an incredible friend, and to watch the family mourn a loved one. But it was also very emotional as I experienced many flashbacks today, the most intense of which, was that feeling of getting ready, and of driving to the service, that moment where you want to wake up and find out that it's all a bad dream, that you are not actually preparing to bury someone you love so much. I am overwhelmed with grief for his young wife, for his parents, his siblings, his grandparents, and all those who loved him. It is going to be such a long year, five months later I still have sleepless nights, moments of breathlessness, and mornings where I struggle to get out from under the covers. I am still asking why? Still asking God what he was thinking? How he could do this? What could possibly be good enough? What is it that I need to learn? Just why God why? These are questions that I know many are asking about Dan, I too have asked them. I don't understand the plan that would take a loving husband, son, brother, nephew, grandson, uncle, and friend from those who loved him, but I have learned these last few months to rest in the promises of Christ. To know that I don't know the answers but that nothing surprises God, that he is in control even though we don't see it, and he has promised this "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLT.

To the friends and family that loved Dan, I am praying for you, I know how hard it is to pray in times like this, I know what it meant to have the support of others praying for me when I didn't feel I could pray, and so I commit to you that I will hold you up in prayer. I pray that God will show you  JOY as you walk this path of grief. I recently read a quote that sums up our life on this earth:

every space holds the possibility of this profound joy and deep pain and the two always mingle together. There is no other place to arrive at. There’s only one address anyone lives at and it’s always a duplex: Joy and pain always co-habit every season of life. Accept them both and keep company with the joy while the pain does it’s necessary renovations. ~Ann Voskamp

I look forward to the day when we enter Heaven's gates and we will no longer experience the pain that is a part of our life on this earth, but while we remain, we will experience both joy and pain. I pray that you can embrace the joy and allow the pain to work and to transform you. For me, loosing a loved one inspired me to strive even harder to live a life that would have made him proud, and to allow myself to feel that loss deeply, and to let it change me so that his life will have made a difference in mine. I pray this for each of you that mourn Dan, and I know in the months that are still to come, the occasions that you will have to celebrate without him, all the firsts you have to experience, as the group supporting you grows smaller you will feel that loss deeper, and more painfully, and you will grow weary. In your weariness I urge you to turn to Christ. To seek comfort in him. "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea." Psalm 46:1-2NLT. In the loss of a nephew, and the loss of a father, it is Christ that has held our family and walked us through. Though we are still deeply feeling the loss we know that God is good, and "though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love." Lamentations 3:30, and so we continue to go forward, confident in the hope we have in Him, knowing "[we] can do all things through Christ who gives [us] strength." Philippians 4:13. 

For those who weren't able to attend here are some links to great coverage of the parade and the service celebrating Dan's life.
http://www.globaltvbc.com/video/hundreds+pay+tribute+to+firefighter/video.html?v=2184010312&p=1&s=dd#news+hour

http://www.castanet.net/news/North-Okanagan/69359/Hundreds-attend-Botkin-funeral
 
http://www.theprovince.com/news/More+than+colleagues+expected+Enderby+firefighter+funeral/5950885/story.html
 
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/story/2012/01/04/bc-firefighter-killed-funeral.html
 
http://www.globaltvbc.com/funeral+for+fallen+enderby+firefighter/6442553571/story.html